Me: Wow, I’ve uploaded your photo to the Fido Casting Call contest and you’re number 13!
Tierce: Fido Casting Call?
Me: You could be in a commercial.
Tierce: What would I have to do?
Me: I dunno… look cute, I guess.
Tierce: I could look cute right here.
Me: Well… it’s just better on television.
Tierce: That box you stare at that sounds like static?
Me: Yeah, that box.
Tierce: Why do you want me to be in that box? Isn’t the crate enough?
Me: No, it would just be your picture.
Tierce: You’re gonna put my picture in the crate and me in the TV. I always knew you had some kind of ulterior motive for owning me.
Me: No, your picture would be in the TV.
Tierce: Well, I’m not going to do it for nothing. What’s the pay like?
Me: Cheese, maybe some bologna or dried liver.
Tierce: I’ll think about it… no promises, though.
Me: Well, you don’t even know if you’re going to win.
Tierce: Of course I’ll win! I’m superior to all those other dogs.
Me: OH MY GOD! YOU’VE SLIPPED TO NUMBER 18! MUST FACEBOOK ALL FRIENDS EVER KNOWN TO VOTE!
Me: Oh and Twitter, too! Can’t forget Twitter!
Tierce: …you’re getting a little intense about this.
Me: And maybe I should do some kind of mailout. You know, nothing vulgar or garish; just a couple of chain letters.
Tierce: Says the person who thinks Snopes is a demigod and posts rants about email forwards.
Me: IT’S ALL WORTH IT! FAME! MONEY! FORTUNE!
Tierce: Well, if you wanted money, you shouldn’t have gotten a dog.
Me: My dog will be famous…!
Tierce: Er… does the dog have anything to say about this?
Me: NO. DOG IS AVATAR OF SELF. DOG WILL REPRESENT SELF WHENEVER DOG IS TOLD.
Tierce: Says the human to the Shiba. Good luck with that.
Me: Hey, I should write something for the blog about this!
Tierce: Yeah, you go do that. I’ll be chewing an escape route through the front door.