With the power of my mind, I will impel the cheese off the counter.
Me: What are you thinking?
Tierce: If I took a running leap on top of the counter, I could eat that cheese wrapper.
Me: What?
Tierce: I mean, I would never do such a thing. While you were watching.
Me: Apparently science says that while you have an emotional life, you don’t necessarily think that I do. Or that I am even a thinking being at all, really.
Tierce: You’re writing a conversation with your dog on your dog’s Facebook page.
Me: But what do you think about me as a thinking being?
Tierce: You’re writing a conversation with your dog on your dog’s Facebook page.
Me: You’re just repeating yourself. Are you aware of me as a separate thinking entity?
Tierce: You’re writing- you know what? Fuck this. The answer’s no and can I have that cheese wrapper now.
Me: No! Wrappers are bad for you. Bad!
Tierce: I will now stare intently at the door and growl.
Me: What? What’s there? Tierce? Who’s at the door? Tierce? COME BACK HERE WITH THAT WRAPPER, YOU LITTLE SHIT.
