Me: Tierce! Tierce!
Megan (friend): Where’d he go?
Angela (friend): Up in the bushes.
Me: Yeah, about the discussion on obedience we were having…
Tierce: Here I am!
Me: Oh my DOG.
Angela/Megan: What? Oh, my GOD!
Me: WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ROLLING IN?
Tierce: Um… nothing?
Me: You’re filthy!
Angela: Looks like he rolled in something.
Megan: Smells like he rolled in it, too.
Tierce: You know, you totally place too much emphasis on appearances.
Me: How did you manage to get it just on your face and not on your body?
Tierce: Oh, I’m talented like that.
Angela: Oh, is he ever!
Megan: I’m sure glad we drove my husband’s car here.
1 HOUR LATER…
Tierce: I hate you.
Me: You should have thought of that before you decided to try your mud mask.
Tierce: I hate this chair!
Me: The showerhead can’t reach the filthy crap you have on your chest if you’re on the floor.
Tierce: I’m fine with that.
Me: I’m not having you smear the putrid remains of whatever dead body you found up in Westwood on the carpet! Now hold still!
Tierce: We just don’t approach hygiene the same way and your prejudice saddens me.
Me: Shut up and stop trying to jump off the chair!