Me: I wish we had another dog for Tierce to play with.
Me: I was thinking of a Collie or something. A farm collie, not a Rough collie or a Border collie.
Boyfriend: I’d like a dog with a little more personality.
Me: You think Collies have no personality?
Boyfriend: I didn’t say that.
Me: That means you think Collies have no personality. You’re *insinuating* it.
Boyfriend: I insinuate nothing.
Me: So, do you think Collies have no personality?
Boyfriend: …well I think they’re a little dull.
Me: Compared to, say, a Boxer? You’re always on about that Boxer you used to have.
Boyfriend: Boxers are goofy! And they’re always happy!
Me: So, you like Tierce because he has a “personality”.
Boyfriend: Well, yeah.
Me: He doesn’t come when he’s called, he tries to hit you in the testicles with his front paws every chance he gets and he chewed through your dialysis cord and sent you to the hospital. Is that what you mean by personality?
Boyfriend: He knows his own mind. He wanted to be Alpha.
Me: It’s like this whole nearly killing you thing was a real bonding experience for the two of you.
Boyfriend: Hey, it was a natural thing. I’m the Alpha and he tried to remove me so he could be Alpha.
He’s probably thinking of another way to kill me right now.
Me: That’s great! There’s nothing that really illuminates the 10,000 year bond between man and dog than a rogue Shiba inu plotting to kill you.
Boyfriend: At least he’s interesting.
Me: So… what, shall we get some kind of bully breed with an anger management problem? Would that be interesting enough for you?
Boyfriend: Is a boxer a bully breed?
Me: Close enough. Maybe we could train the dog to attack you as soon as you come in the door every day. Excitement! Challenge!