This is one of the many reasons why you should vote for Tierce in the Fido Casting Call contest. You can vote every day!
Me: Tierce! Inside!
Tierce: Sure. Do-dee-doody-doo
Me: Tierce! IN. NOW.
Tierce: Okay, okay…
Me: What is that?
Tierce: Muff i’ wha’?
Me: That filthy… thing you have in your mouth. It looks like a shrivelled capybara fetus.
Tierce: Uh a ‘all.
Me: A ball? You could have fooled me. A shrunken head, maybe. Anyway, you’re not bringing it inside.
Me: Drop it. Now.
Tierce: *mumble, mumble*
Me: What was that?
Tierce: Nothing. Oh look, there’s Mischa.
Mischa: Why aren’t you letting the dog in?
Me: He has something disgusting he wants to bring inside.
Tierce: Oh, hey, I’m in the house. Better check out things in the living room.
Me: TIERCE! Did you bring in that ball when I told you not to? Where is it?
Tierce: What ball?
Me: Okay, maybe it’s still outside. Thing’s so filthy, it blends right in with the dirt.
Me: Tierce, don’t stick your cold nose into my neck.
Tierce: I’m at the end of the bed and don’t know what you’re talking about.
Me: Then wha- OH MY DOG! EW!
Mischa: What?! What?
Me: IT’S THAT DISGUSTING BALL. HE DID IT! HE SNUCK IT INSIDE AND DROPPED IT RIGHT BESIDE MY HEAD ON THE PILLOW WHILE WE SLEPT!
Tierce: Can you keep it down? It’s, like, 4 in the morning. Some dogs are trying to sleep around here.
Me: How did you do it?
Tierce: Can’t reveal my secrets.
Me: Why did you drop it near my head?!
Tierce: Needed to keep it safe. With your breath, no one’s going to come near it.
Me: OKAY! THAT’S IT! OUT! OUT!
Mischa: Hon, don’t you think you’re over-
Me: NO I’M NOT OVERREACTING! HE DID IT ON PURPOSE! HE DID IT TO SPITE ME!
Tierce: *yawn* Well, I’d better go downstairs, since you’re being so noisy and all.
Mischa: Uh… Babe, why don’t you go back to sl- Why are you barricading the door?
Me: Because he’ll come back with something more disgusting than that thing! Who knows what else he’s got hidden?
Mischa: Okay, let’s just go back and get some-
Tierce: *whine* Hey, I need to go out.