Me: Tierce is really hungry lately.
Mischa: I think it’s the Prednisone he’s on.* Now that it’s fall, we can cut him down to 1 pill a day.
Me: That’s a good idea. Maybe then he won’t go on scavenging missions for our Wendy’s food wrappers.
Tierce: I’m hungry.
Me: How would you like a nice, crispy apple?
Tierce: Um. I want your Chinese food more.
Me: Just try it.
Mischa: Try eating a piece. I read somewhere that dogs prefer eating what they see people eat.
Me: I don’t think that me eating a piece of apple will convince Tierce to eat a piece of apple.
Mischa: Give him a piece.
Tierce: What’s this?
Me: The fount of all things good.
Mischa: It’s a yummy apple, Tierce.
Me: He’s not gonna eat it. He’s just pushing it around the floor with his nose… well, I’ll be damned.
Tierce: Well, it can’t be that bad. I mean, you ate it.
Me: Huh. Want another?
Me: I guess it really works.
Mischa: Bring the bowl into the living room. He won’t want to eat the slices when he gets a whiff of what we’re eating. But, if we hand him pieces of apple when he begs us for Chinese food, he won’t know the difference.
Me: Okay, that I don’t believe.
Tierce: That smells way better than this crispy shit. Can I have some of that?
Me: Uh, sure. Here you go.
Tierce: ‘Dis tastes a ‘ot ‘ike apple.
Me: It’s sweet and sour pork, I swear. Have another.
Tierce: Yay! Wait…
Me: I can’t believe this. He’s really buying it.
Mischa: I told you.
Tierce: You know, I think you’re trying to sell me something… I’m going over to see Mischa.
Mischa: Here you go.
Tierce: What’s that?
Mischa: Ginger beef.
Tierce: That smells a lot like apple.
Mischa: Well, it’s special ginger beef. Apple ginger beef.
Tierce: Well… okay.
Me: This is awesome. I can’t believe we haven’t tried this before. I’m going to try carrots next.
Tierce: I hate carrots.
Me: Not when we market them as cheese puffs!
*Tierce is on Vanectyl-P for his seasonal allergies, which are vicious. Yes, we’ve changed his diet. Multiple times. Yes, we’ve tried Atopica. Yes, we’ve had him tested. This is just what works. For now. Yes, I am aware of the health issues. Why, yes, I have gotten lectured by multiple people about how it’s evil and bad and will kill him some day.