This is one of the many reasons why you should vote for Tierce in the Fido Casting Call contest. You can vote every day!
Tierce: You’ve got a thing for putting me in swings lately.
Me: Yeah, it makes for a cute picture. Besides, you like swinging.
Tierce: I tolerate it when you put me in that position, but it’s not something I would seek out on my own.
Me: Tierce, the Swinging Shiba!
Tierce: Doesn’t North American human slang use that word for…
Me: …yeah, forget it. You’re not Tierce the Swinging Shiba.
Tierce: Well, I could have been, but guess who decided to get my balls cho-
Me: CHILDREN’S playground, Tierce.
Tierce: What are they, 9? 10? I’m not even 5 and I was only 2 when you had me gel-
Me: KIDDIES here.
Tierce: So when are THEY going to get neutered? THAT word okay?
Me: We don’t neuter human children.
Tierce: Why not? Saves a lot of time and trouble. Less dominance issues! Less mounting problems!
Me: Most people think that it’s cruel to deny other people the right to reproduce, even if they have the parenting skills of a rabid squirrel.
Tierce: What’s the world’s population now? 7 billion? Ish?
Me: Yeah, we aren’t in danger of extinction for now. No, it’s more the issue of making a decision for someone who doesn’t have control over their life and can’t knowledgeably choose a course of action.
Tierce: WOW, doesn’t sound at ALL like OUR relationship.
Me: Your decision-making skills don’t include the ability to decide whether or not to pass on your genes. Besides, when you were intact, you were a little shit.
Tierce: I had something to prove.
Me: That you could attack and kill a 110 pound Rottweiler?
Tierce: Yeah, like that. I would have, too, if Mischa hadn’t pulled me off.
Me: The way I heard it, the dog politely let you up after you went after him and he magnanimously decided to let you keep your face.
Tierce: Yeah! I showed him!
Me: And that was your last time in the dog park until you were neutered.