This is one of the many reasons why you should vote for Tierce in the Fido Casting Call contest. You can vote every day!
Tierce: A PLASTIC BOTTLE!
Me: Why do you pick up those things?
Tierce: Because they make cool noises!
Bottle: POP! POP! CRACK!
Me: Tierce, stop that; you’re going to wake the neighbourhood up.
Tierce: Can’t get it, nyah! Nyah!
Me: The Flexi attached to your collar says I can.
Me: That’s me, freezing my ass out in the middle of autumn so I can oppress you into taking a poop so we can go inside.
Tierce: I wonder what was in here. *lick* OH MY DOG THAT’S DISGUSTING!
Me: What’s disgusting?
Tierce: The swill in this bottle!
Me: Huh. The label on this says ‘Krazy Beaver NRG Beverage’.
Tierce: Yeah, I’ll believe that beavers go crazy after drinking that shit. I’ve never tasted anything so disgusting in my life and that includes the time you didn’t close the trash can lid after it was your turn to cook.
Me: I never said I was a cook.
Tierce: Well, that’s a relief, since I’d hate to tear away yet another illusion of yours about your competencies.
Me: …I’m just going to put this bottle on the trash can for the bottle guys to pick up.