Dogs VS Kids

Me: I can’t believe Tierce is 5-and-a-half already.

Mischa: 5-and-a-half already. Are you 5-and-a-half, little puppy?

Tierce: Keep petting me.

Me: Can you imagine how it would be if he were a kid, how annoying he would be?

Mischa: More than he is already?

Me: Much more. We couldn’t shove him in a crate, for starters.

Mischa: What’s wrong with shoving your kid in a crate?

Me: I think Child Protective Services frowns on that sort of thing. Same with rolled up newspapers and training collars, apparently.

Mischa: Huh. Next thing they’ll be telling us that we can’t just keep the kid in the yard during the day while we’re both at work.

Me: Pretty much; it’s not like I could take a kid to a dog daycare. He would probably learn to crap outside instead of inside the house and not to bark, but that’s about it.

Mischa: Yeah, that’s true.

Me: I’m glad that we’re never having kids.

Mischa: And so is the rest of the world.


  1. I’ve said similar things about childcare (especially the crate thing), much to the horror of *real* parents. Nevermind that I might think their little darlings could use a good timeout that a crate affords.

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