Tierce: Another boat?
Me: We’re going to an event in Gibsons.
Tierce: This place smells like diesel.
Me: That’s because this is the vehicle deck.
Tierce: What’s that?
Me: The ocean.
Tierce: It looks wet. And cold.
Me: Yeah. I’d take it as a kindness if you didn’t attempt a flying leap off the bow.
Tierce: Not a problem. OHMYDOG BIG BAD WEIRD THING. A MOVING THING.
Me: That’s the ship’s radar.
Tierce: That’s the signal of the Hellmouth. They’re sailing us into the jaws of the Kraken!
Me: Would you shut up? Look, we’re under the roof again. It’s gone.
Tierce: ALL HANDS ABANDON SHI- oh, okay. Hey, look, a tug toy!
Me: No! That’s a life preserver!
Tierce: I bet I could run off with it and sever the rope in three places before you can reach the opposite end of the ship.
Me: I’m not taking those odds.
Tierce: Spoilsport. What’s this?
Me: This is the pet area.
Tierce: The pet area? It looks like a big crate. A Dane couldn’t even turn around in here.
Me: Well, when they designed the ferry, pet areas weren’t a big consideration.
Tierce: Now you know why their revenue’s dropping.
Me: Well, here’s Horseshoe Bay.
Tierce: Shall we celebrate by sharing your ice cream?
Me: Well, it’s chocolate. Chocolate is bad for dogs. I don’t want you getting sick.
Tierce: You love the fact that chocolate is bad for dogs, don’t you?
Me: Pretty much, yeah.
Tierce: I’m pretty sure you’d come up with some other bullshit excuse if you were eating vanilla, say, or strawberry.
Me: Oh, no, I’d make it sound plausible.
Tierce: Such as…?
Me: You can’t have it because I say you can’t and I’m bigger than you, with opposable thumbs.
Tierce: There you go, throwing that in my face again.
Me: Here we are!
Me: At our friends’ in Gibsons.
Tierce: Is ‘Gibsons’ short for ‘Ferry Forever?’ Because it sure seems like it.
Me: Well we’re here now.
Tierce: Meh. Whatever.
Friends: Can Tierce have the ends of the ham we cooked for tomorrow’s event? Oh, and there’s some turkey skin he can have.
Tierce: This is the greatest day of my life. Let’s stay here forever.
Me: Okay, we’re off. We’ll be back in a few hours.
Tierce: Why can’t I come?
Me: Dogs aren’t allowed in the curling club. Sorry.
Tierce: That’s not fair. I eat really well at events.
Me: Alas, these things sometimes happen.
Tierce: I think this is a plot to keep the turkey from me.
Me: Could be. In fact, it probably is. The people of Fjordland are just against Shibas having turkey. Sorry.
Tierce: I’m sure there’s some kind of medieval hospitality law against this.
Me: Well, you see, that’s the awesome thing about the SCA. We can pick and choose.
Tierce: A Shiba is without honour in his own Principality.
Me: Oh, come on. Stop looking all depressed.
Tierce: I can’t help it. All is dead. I’m trapped. The walls are closing in.
Me: I came back in the middle of the event to let you out to pee. You were just on an hour walk through the forest. I didn’t even let a coyote eat you. Still, you complain.
Tierce: No will to live.
Me: Okay, enough of that. Come up on the bed here. Look out the window.
Tierce: I’m in the pit of despai- HEY THERE WAS A BIRD. DID YOU SEE THAT? A BIRD JUST FLEW BY.
Me: That’s right, a bird.
Tierce: Hey, a car.
Tierce: ‘Nother car.
Me: Thanks for sharing.
Tierce: You’ll never guess what’s coming up the road.
Me: A coyote?
Tierce: No! A woman with a SCHNAUZER!
Me: This is news?
Tierce: Another bird!
Me: I’m just going to leave you to, uh, enjoy the sights.
Tierce: No kidding, it’s like Wild Kingdom out here.
Me: What are you doing?
Tierce: Getting ready for bed.
Me: Well, most dogs get ready for bed at the end of the bed. Not the pillows. The pillows are for people. Like me.
Tierce: If pillows were meant for people, then why are they sized for me?