Tierce: You’ve posted this picture before.
Me: Well, it’s a cute picture!
Tierce: It was a cute picture before you started plastering it all over the Net. My Dog, can’t you humiliate me in private?
Me: Oh, revenge is sweet. It’s like chocolate mousse without the calories.
Tierce: I wouldn’t know, since you’ve never let me have chocolate.
Me: Chocolate is toxic to dogs.
Tierce: Like I’d believe anything you told me about something you want to have all to yourself.
Me: Keep it up and I’ll make you a big bowl of it.
Tierce: Oh, now you’re trying to kill me. Aren’t you being a little hypocritical, supporting all these dog rescues and animal welfare organizations?
Me: No, because those are for grateful dogs who don’t humiliate their owners.
Tierce: There you go, chipping away at my self-esteem again.
Me: That would be like trying to wear away the foundation of the Statue of Liberty using a duster.