Mischa (long suffering boyfriend): There is a Kong in my lap.
Tierce (balancing on top of the couch): Yeah, I don’t know how it got there. Throw it for me, will you?
Mischa: No. I’m resting.
Tierce: But I’m staring at you!
Mischa: No. I’m resting and I’m Alph- FOR FUCK’S SAKE THIS IS SLIMY AND DISGUSTING! (hurls Kong away from him)
Tierce (leaping off the back of the couch onto Mischa’s crotch and launching himself towards the Kong): YAYYYY!
Mischa: That hurt, but not as much as it’s going to hurt you in a minute.
Tierce: But I’m cute and I’ve got the Kongandyouneedtothrowitformerightnow!!!!
Mischa: The only thing I’m throwing is you.
Tierce (drops Kong on Mischa’s foot): Throw this!
Mischa: Ew! (kicks Kong across living room)
Mischa: I’m going to watch Iron Chef. Maybe the secret ingredient today is Shiba.
Tierce: I GOT IT!!!
Mischa: I’m not throwing it for you.
Tierce: But it’s riiiiight heeeeeere! And I’m cute.
Mischa: FINE. (Takes Kong and puts it on top of the stack of cardboard boxes in the other room)
Tierce: I can’t get it.
Mischa (settles down on the couch): Now life is good.
(five minutes pass)
Tierce: Hey, Mischa.