I’m totally not begging.  Really.  I’m just observing your eating habits.  It’s fascinating, the culinary behaviour of humans.  Just fascinating.  If you don’t mind, what is the origin of that cheese-covered bread crust peeping at me from the upper left quadrant of your plate?  I’m just curious.  I’m a big fan of cheese, by the way.  It’s kind of, like, a life calling for me.  But don’t mind me; by all means continue with your meal.  I’m just an impartial observer.  How does it taste?  I’ve always said that you were an excellent cook; other people might not share that opinion, but I know it as fact. I’m just wondering, as a matter of detached interest, are you planning to eat that aforementioned crust of bread?  I’m just curious, because if you weren’t going to eat it, I could be prevailed upon to ensure that it doesn’t go to waste.  Humans are so wasteful.  Oh, I don’t mean you… you’re different.  You wouldn’t just throw out a perfectly nourishing 5 cheese bread dripping with paillot de chevre if there was a hungry mouth that would be grateful even for the tiniest crumb.

I’ve always said that you were the best person ever.