A Trip to Gibsons

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Tierce:  Another boat?

Me:  We’re going to an event in Gibsons.

Tierce:  This place smells like diesel.

Me:  That’s because this is the vehicle deck.

Tierce:  What’s that?

Me:  The ocean.

Tierce:  It looks wet. And cold.

Me:  Yeah. I’d take it as a kindness if you didn’t attempt a flying leap off the bow.

Tierce:  Not a problem. OHMYDOG BIG BAD WEIRD THING. A MOVING THING.

Me:  That’s the ship’s radar.

Tierce:  That’s the signal of the Hellmouth. They’re sailing us into the jaws of the Kraken!

Me:  Would you shut up?  Look, we’re under the roof again. It’s gone.

Tierce:  ALL HANDS ABANDON SHI- oh, okay. Hey, look, a tug toy!

Me:  No!  That’s a life preserver!

Tierce:  I bet I could run off with it and sever the rope in three places before you can reach the opposite end of the ship.

Me:  I’m not taking those odds.

Tierce: Spoilsport. What’s this?

Me:  This is the pet area.

Tierce:  The pet area?  It looks like a big crate. A Dane couldn’t even turn around in here.

Me:  Well, when they designed the ferry, pet areas weren’t a big consideration.

Tierce:  Now you know why their revenue’s dropping.

***

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Me:  Well, here’s Horseshoe Bay.

Tierce:  Shall we celebrate by sharing your ice cream?

Me:  No.

Tierce:  Explain.

Me:  Well, it’s chocolate.  Chocolate is bad for dogs.  I don’t want you getting sick.

Tierce:  You love the fact that chocolate is bad for dogs, don’t you?

Me:  Pretty much, yeah.

Tierce:  I’m pretty sure you’d come up with some other bullshit excuse if you were eating vanilla, say, or strawberry.

Me:  Oh, no, I’d make it sound plausible.

Tierce:  Such as…?

Me:  You can’t have it because I say you can’t and I’m bigger than you, with opposable thumbs.

Tierce:  There you go, throwing that in my face again.

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***

Me:  Here we are!

Tierce: Where?

Me:  At our friends’ in Gibsons.

Tierce:  Is ‘Gibsons’ short for ‘Ferry Forever?’ Because it sure seems like it.

Me:  Well we’re here now.

Tierce:  Meh. Whatever.

Friends:  Can Tierce have the ends of the ham we cooked for tomorrow’s event? Oh, and there’s some turkey skin he can have.

Tierce:  This is the greatest day of my life. Let’s stay here forever.

***

Me: Okay, we’re off. We’ll be back in a few hours.

Tierce:  Why can’t I come?

Me:  Dogs aren’t allowed in the curling club. Sorry.

Tierce:  That’s not fair. I eat really well at events.

Me:  Alas, these things sometimes happen.

Tierce:  I think this is a plot to keep the turkey from me.

Me:  Could be.  In fact, it probably is.  The people of Fjordland are just against Shibas having turkey.  Sorry.

Tierce:  I’m sure there’s some kind of medieval hospitality law against this.

Me:  Well, you see, that’s the awesome thing about the SCA.  We can pick and choose.

Tierce:  A Shiba is without honour in his own Principality.

***

Me:  Oh, come on.  Stop looking all depressed.

Tierce:  I can’t help it.  All is dead.  I’m trapped.  The walls are closing in.

Me:  I came back in the middle of the event to let you out to pee.  You were just on an hour walk through the forest.  I didn’t even let a coyote eat you.  Still, you complain.

Tierce:  No will to live.

Me:  Okay, enough of that.  Come up on the bed here.  Look out the window.

Tierce:  I’m in the pit of despai- HEY THERE WAS A BIRD. DID YOU SEE THAT? A BIRD JUST FLEW BY.

Me:  That’s right, a bird.

Tierce:  Hey, a car.

Me:  Great.

Tierce:  ‘Nother car.

Me:  Thanks for sharing.

Tierce:  You’ll never guess what’s coming up the road.

Me:  A coyote?

Tierce:  No!  A woman with a SCHNAUZER!

Me:  This is news?

Tierce:  Another bird!

Me:  I’m just going to leave you to, uh, enjoy the sights.

Tierce:  No kidding, it’s like Wild Kingdom out here.

***

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Me:  What are you doing?

Tierce:  Getting ready for bed.

Me:  Well, most dogs get ready for bed at the end of the bed.  Not the pillows.  The pillows are for people.  Like me.

Tierce:  If pillows were meant for people, then why are they sized for me?