Stuffed Shibas are better

Me: Hey, look, Tierce. I got my Groomy Pet On The Desk Shiba today. Isn’t it cute?

Tierce: Meh.

Me: Awww! How could woo wot wuv him?

Tierce: Look, is this a toy for me to destroy? Because otherwise I’m not interested.

Me: Oh wook at twa wittow puppy.

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Tierce: Not impressed. Not. In. The. Slightest.

Me: Mischa and I have discussed it and we’ve decided that since you’re not a cute puppy anymore, the Groomy is going to replace you.

Tierce: You see this? This is the face of a dog who’s going to trip you down the stairs one day.

Me: Yeah, we figured that now that the new dog is here…

Tierce: It’s not a dog. It’s a toy. How much did you waste importing it from Japan, anyway?

Me: …we’ll just tie you out in the yard most of the time…

Tierce: You are pissing me off. Get this thing off my head.

Me: …throw you scraps of food…when we remember, of course…

Tierce: Take this fucking thing off my head or I’m going to spread its stuffing all over the floor before I “accidentally” leave my Kong out in the path leading to the toilet.

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The Misanthropic Shiba

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