Poor Little Puppy

tierceneuterTierce: Ow! Stupid cone!

Me: We can’t let you lick yourself.

Tierce: Owww… why is this happening to me? I never want to go to the vet’s again.

Me: You got neutered.

Tierce: What’s “noodered”?

Me: It’s where you remove the testicles.

Tierce: But why?

Me: So you can’t produce little Tierces with big allergy problems.

Tierce: But you don’t let me run loose anyway!

Me: Because it might help you with your aggression problem with bigger and stronger dogs who aren’t going to put up with your shit.

Tierce: Just because they won’t bow down before me, you say I have a problem.

Me: Uh, yeah. Moving right along. And there’s the high likelihood of prostate problems in the middle years.

Tierce: But it hurts!

Me: It will feel better in a few days.

Tierce: Owww!

Me: Try not to pay attention to it. Are you hungry?

Tierce: Hell, yeah! You STARVED me in preparation for this! Yeah, I’d love something.

Me: Have some kibble.

Tierce: Something not that.

Me: You like your kibble.

Tierce: Not nowowowow. Ow!

Me: Oh, honey, I’m so sorry you’re feeling bad.

Tierce: YOU’RE sorry. Oh, that’s rich.

Me: I am… we have some salmon in the cupboard. The $5 a can stuff…

Tierce: Well, I suppose I could choke down a few mouthfuls.

Me: … that was quick.

Tierce: Yeah, my hunger somehow came back to me.

Me: I put the painkiller the vet gave me on that, did you taste it? It might make you drowsy.

Tierce: It tasted like that rotten banana I was playing with one time when you got home from work.

Me: Uh, sure… feeling sleepy?

Tierce: Noooo…ow! OW! I WANNA LICK!

Me: Well you can’t.

Tierce: BUT IT HURTS AND YOU’RE MEAN.

Me: I’m not letting you lick it until it develops a sore or infection.

Tierce: Well, all I have to do is destroy this cone collar and I’m free! Free…

Me: Tierce?

Tierce: free…

Me: Maybe you should plan your freedom in your beanbag.

Tierce: Yeah… I’ll do that… Beanbags is great, yanno? Izz good… So flurfy and biteable… zzzZZZzzz…

Me: Yes, honey, they are. You go to sleep now.

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The Misanthropic Shiba

4 Comments

  1. You are very lucky that Tierce still talks to you after the vets. My Sephy just goes off by himself and howls to the wind about all the injustices that have been perpetrated upon him. Takes him about 1 day before he will allow me into his royal presence again 🙂

  2. Poor Tierce…
    By the way I can’t check updates of this blog by RSS feed reader anymore.
    Last entry I could be noticed by RSS was “Hat 2.0”.

  3. Poor Tierce! Glad the sleepy pills are working! Eric built up a tolerance for them over a couple of days, plus he went on a hunger strike once he discovered there were pills inside! Wouldn’t even eat salmon! or cheese!

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