The Misanthropic Shiba

Tierce: What?

Me: We’re going for a RIDE!

Tierce: Is that my harness?

Me: Um, no…

Tierce: Liar!

Me: Tierce!

Tierce: I hate the harness.

Me: Don’t run away from me!

Tierce: I’m not coming near you, crazy woman. You want to trap me inside those straps!

Me: Come here! You need the harness to keep you safely in the trailer!

Tierce: No.

Me: COME HERE.

Tierce: NO.

Me: Okay, fine. I don’t have the harness.

Tierce: Okaaay… so, what do you wan-

Me: HA!

Tierce: Cheater!

Me: There you go. Oh, don’t look so tragic.

Tierce: Hate the harness. Hate you. Hate everything.

Me: Okay, we have to get moving… your appointment is in half an hour.

Tierce: Gonna go outside. Eat worms. Die.

Me: Okay, into the trailer!

Tierce: Hate the trailer.

Me: Okay, you’re snapped in… ready to go?

Tierce: Hate, hate, hate.

Me: Hmmm… where have I seen that before?

Tierce: Don’t care.

Me: Okay, here we go!

Tierce: mmm… Wind in my face!

Me: *pant* Are you sure you haven’t gained any weight in the last few months?

Tierce: With that crap you feed me? No, I haven’t.

Me: *gasp* That ‘crap’ is premium dog food. You should be grateful. Puppies are starving in Japan.

Tierce: You get pizza.

Me: That’s because I WORK for pizza. Like I’m working now!

Tierce: Sulk, sulk, sulk.

Me: Well, here we are!

Tierce: Don’t care. Harness evil. Will to live draining.

Me: You know what? I remember the good old days when dogs used to pull people.

Tierce: How barbaric!

Me: I actually quite like the idea. Ready to see the nice vet?

Tierce: No. Hate the vet. Hate you.

Me: Okay, there you go. No more harness.

Tierce: YAY! Oh frabjous day! The sweetness of life doth verily sing in mine veins!

Me: Calm down.

Tierce: Not calming down. Not listening. For now is the time for JOY!

Me: I brought some hamburger. And cheese…

Tierce: Cheese?