Me: We’re going for a RIDE!
Tierce: Is that my harness?
Me: Um, no…
Tierce: I hate the harness.
Me: Don’t run away from me!
Tierce: I’m not coming near you, crazy woman. You want to trap me inside those straps!
Me: Come here! You need the harness to keep you safely in the trailer!
Me: COME HERE.
Me: Okay, fine. I don’t have the harness.
Tierce: Okaaay… so, what do you wan-
Me: There you go. Oh, don’t look so tragic.
Tierce: Hate the harness. Hate you. Hate everything.
Me: Okay, we have to get moving… your appointment is in half an hour.
Tierce: Gonna go outside. Eat worms. Die.
Me: Okay, into the trailer!
Tierce: Hate the trailer.
Me: Okay, you’re snapped in… ready to go?
Tierce: Hate, hate, hate.
Me: Hmmm… where have I seen that before?
Tierce: Don’t care.
Me: Okay, here we go!
Tierce: mmm… Wind in my face!
Me: *pant* Are you sure you haven’t gained any weight in the last few months?
Tierce: With that crap you feed me? No, I haven’t.
Me: *gasp* That ‘crap’ is premium dog food. You should be grateful. Puppies are starving in Japan.
Tierce: You get pizza.
Me: That’s because I WORK for pizza. Like I’m working now!
Tierce: Sulk, sulk, sulk.
Me: Well, here we are!
Tierce: Don’t care. Harness evil. Will to live draining.
Me: You know what? I remember the good old days when dogs used to pull people.
Tierce: How barbaric!
Me: I actually quite like the idea. Ready to see the nice vet?
Tierce: No. Hate the vet. Hate you.
Me: Okay, there you go. No more harness.
Tierce: YAY! Oh frabjous day! The sweetness of life doth verily sing in mine veins!
Me: Calm down.
Tierce: Not calming down. Not listening. For now is the time for JOY!
Me: I brought some hamburger. And cheese…