Don’t worry, he’s friendly. He’s really a big love bug. Can you please stop your dog from snarling? He’s really just trying to make friends. Oh, your dog doesn’t like other dogs? You should keep your dog off the sidewalk. I don’t want to risk my friendly dog with a vicious animal who is going to attack him just for saying hi. No, he’s off-leash because he’s harmless, really. He barrels into you because he likes you. I don’t understand why you’re so anti-social; they’re just clothes. That looks like just a scratch; he’s a big puppy, really.
Well, you should have managed your toddler better; he just loves children. Some children just can’t handle a big, friendly dog. You should tell your kid the difference between a friendly dog and a vicious one. It’s not like he bit him. Yeah, well, claw marks aren’t a bite. He shouldn’t have panicked with my big love bug galloped right for him, barking. He barks and lunges because he’s excited. Oh, it’s worse when he’s on leash; that’s why we didn’t leash him up. I’m sorry about the blood.
He just wants to say hi. Well, if you don’t like dogs, there’s something wrong with you. Oh, you like dogs, just not irresponsibly owned ones? Well, in your face. Are you perfect? I’m sure the world would be SO much better if we were all perfect like you. My big fluffums doesn’t need your judgment. I bet you’re not even afraid of dogs; you’re just mean. Why would I leash him? He’s fine. Well, if you don’t want a dog jumping on you, maybe you should stop walking in the park.
Besides, I don’t have time to take him for an on-leash walk; I have to be at a meeting. Yes, it’s more important than whatever you were doing. Would you stop going on about your dog and your clothes, your crying child, and your bleeding hand, please? You know, you’re really too much. This whole encounter isn’t about you; it’s about me. Me and what I want. And now you’ve made me late for the meeting, so thanks for that.
What was I doing that was so important? I’m presenting a report on how to teach children the concept of consent.