Mischa: 5-and-a-half already. Are you 5-and-a-half, little puppy?
Tierce: Keep petting me.
Me: Can you imagine how it would be if he were a kid, how annoying he would be?
Mischa: More than he is already?
Me: Much more. We couldn’t shove him in a crate, for starters.
Mischa: What’s wrong with shoving your kid in a crate?
Me: I think Child Protective Services frowns on that sort of thing. Same with rolled up newspapers and training collars, apparently.
Mischa: Huh. Next thing they’ll be telling us that we can’t just keep the kid in the yard during the day while we’re both at work.
Me: Pretty much; it’s not like I could take a kid to a dog daycare. He would probably learn to crap outside instead of inside the house and not to bark, but that’s about it.
Mischa: Yeah, that’s true.
Me: I’m glad that we’re never having kids.
Mischa: And so is the rest of the world.