CKC-Approved Canine Nutrition Course

Tierce, attempting to supplement his diet with Shiba-appropriate nutrition.

Tierce, attempting to supplement his diet with Shiba-appropriate nutrition.

Tierce: What are you doing?

Me:  I’m studying a canine nutrition course approved by the Canadian Kennel Club.

Tierce:  Why are you wasting your time with that?  I can tell you everything you need to know.

Me:  Because I want to know what goes into providing you with an optimal diet.  You… you’re not really what I’d call a reliable resource.

Tierce:  Sure I am.  I already know what goes into an optimal diet.  It starts with ‘ch’ and ends with ‘eese’.

Me:  I beg to differ.

Tierce:  I’ll beg for it, too.  I have no pride.

Me:  Then why don’t you like your bicycling harness?

Tierce:  That’s not ‘pride’.  That’s ‘dignity’.  Also, there’s the fact that the straps sap my will to live and make cats hate me.

Me:  Cats hated you before I even bought that harness.  Anyway, this is going to give me some good basic information about what kind of nutrition you need.  That way, I can make better decisions for you and become a better resource for my customers at work.  I’d like to know what supplements would be good for you to take, for instance.

Tierce:  I occasionally supplement with dried liver and anchovies.

Me:  Not exactly.

Tierce:  What?  They’re great.

Me:  Sure.  They’re just not what you need for long-term health.

Tierce:  I also supplement with other stuff.

Me:  Sure you do.

Tierce:  Cat poop!  Full of protein, trace minerals…

Me:  Ugh.  No supplementing with cat poop.

Tierce:  What are you, a hater?  Against a natural diet?

Me:  That’s not a natural diet, that’s disgusting.

Tierce:  Of course it’s natural.  I found it in the wild.

Me:  You mean the side of the house?

Tierce:  Yeah.  It’s pretty wild there.  The grass is really tall.

Me:  You are not allowed there anymore.

Tierce:  You’re all about feeding raw and natural and you can’t let me have a diet that would be natural for me if I was running free?

Me:  Well, ‘natural’ isn’t always ‘better’.

Tierce:  Then why do you feed me raw food?

Me:  Because I believe that a properly formulated raw diet, supplemented appropriately, is a healthy choice.

Tierce:  But you don’t let me supplement my diet as I see fit.  That makes you a hypocrite.

Me:  No, it makes me a little more cognizant of the physical and social consequences of certain dietary choices.

Tierce:  But you still feed me kibble sometimes.

Me:  I don’t think kibble is ‘bad’ or ‘evil’, just that it isn’t as good as fresh, whole food.

Tierce:  And sometimes it’s just easier.

Me:  Exactly.

Tierce:  So you’re lazy, too.

Me:  Not lazy enough to stop working so I have an excuse to not pay for your food.

Tierce:  Apparently laziness has a sliding scale.

Me:  Keep talking.  That sliding scale includes generic dog food.

Tierce:  A Shiba has no honour at his own dog dish.

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The Misanthropic Shiba

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