A simple game of Fetch

Me: Here, Tierce! Get the ball!

Tierce: YAYYY! Throw it! Throwitthrowitthrowit!

Me: (toss)

Tierce: YAYYY! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!

Me: Okay, get it!

Tierce: Bounce! Bounce! Pounce!

Me: Good boy! Now bring it back here!

Tierce: …

Me: C’mon, bring it back here!

Tierce: but it’s mine.

Me: Yes, bring it back so I can throw it again!

Tierce: Mmmm… no.

Me: Come on, give it here.

Tierce: Ooo, chase me!

Me: Give it!

Tierce: You caaaan’t haaaave iiiiit…

Me: Drop it!

Tierce: Nyah! Nyah! Na Naaaaannnnnyyyyaaaahhhh!

Me: NO!

Tierce: Look, it’s chewy!

Me: No, don’t chew that; it’s not meant for chewing!

Tierce: I’ve goooooottttt iiiiitt and yoooooooooouuuu caaaaaan’t haaaaaavvvvveeee iiiiiiitttt.

Me: Okay, that’s it! You drop that right now!

Tierce: Fine, geez.

Me: (picks ball up)

Tierce: You could throw that for me.

Me: No, you don’t bring stuff back.

Tierce: Pleeeeeeaaaaaasssse?

Me: Forget it!

Tierce: But you have it and I want it! Pleeeeeaaaassse!

Me: Okay, fine, but you’ll have to bring it back.

Tierce: Okay, fine sure… throwitthrowitthrowit!

Me: (toss)

Ball: Glunk

Me: Oh, shit.

Tierce: Yeah, that’s what the ball landed in. And I’m going to GET it!

Me: No! Stay away from that! You lick me with that tongue!

Tierce: Don’t worry, I eat poop all the time and you’ve never had a problem with it before.

Me: I’m going to forget that and therefore will refrain from sending you to the big Shiba playground in the sky.

Tierce: Yay, ball!

Me: No! Don’t touch it!

Tierce: I’ve goooottt iiiiit and yoooooouuuu caaaaan’t haaaaave iiiiiit!

Me: No!

Tierce: Catch me!

Me: NO!

Tierce: I’ve gggggooooooottttt iiiiii-

Me: I’ve got the hose.

Tierce: aaaaaaaannnnnnnddd yoooooooo-

Me: On POWERWASH

Tierce: caaaaaaaaannnnn’ttttt haaaaaaa-

Hose: ROAR

Tierce: Aaaaaaah!

Me: Good puppy!

Tierce: EWWWWW!

Me: Hah!

Tierce: (glare)

Me: There you go, a clean ball!

Tierce: I don’t want to play now.

Me: Iiiii’vvvee goooooot iiiiiit and yoooooou caaaan’t haaaaaave iiiiit

Tierce: (sulk)

Me: Fine. You’re only spiting yourself.

Tierce: I’m going to play with this stick. Chew it, too.

Me: I don’t care! It’s a stick, not a $10 ball.

Tierce: Well, that’s no fun. Give me that ball.

Me: No.

Tierce: Gimme the ball!

Me: No!

Tierce: Pleeeeeeaaaaassse!

Me: Well… (toss)

Tierce: YAYYYY!

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The Misanthropic Shiba

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