The Misanthropic Shiba

Archive for June, 2008

Tierce: It’s hot.

Me: Well we’re at the lake. Go swimming.

Tierce: No.

Me: Why? You like splashing around in it.

Tierce: If it touches my back, it will swallow me up.

Me: It will not. See? I’m swimming.

Tierce: You’re crazy. There’s MONSTERS in there.

Me: Oh, don’t be silly. Come on.

Tierce: No.

Me: Too bad; you’re going to learn that water won’t hurt you.

Tierce: NO.

Me: Okay, don’t worry. I’ve got you.

Tierce: This is bad! Let me go!

Me: Ouch! Stop it!

Tierce: I’m just trying to get back to shore before the water gets me.

Me: It’s not going to get you. Now isn’t that nice and cool?

Tierce: I hate you.

Me: How’s the water.

Tierce: Cool and refreshing and I still hate you.

Me: Okay, good boy! Now swim to shore!

Tierce: Hate, hate, hate.

Me: There, now aren’t you cooler?

Tierce: Much, owing to your cold, cold heart.

Here’s a blog focussing on the fight to recapture and rehome the Helena dogs, dumped by Mayor Valley of Helena:

NAFA News

In more Helena news, Mayor Valley ‘apologized’ for the release of the dogs – by claiming that the incident was a “distraction” from the good being done in the Helena area, blaming “a renegade humane society from the southeastern portion of [Arkansas]“, and stating that he had broken no law and that the dogs “set free” by his order were not a danger to anyone.

Apparently Valley failed to note the laws pertaining to cruelty to animals, not to mention a rather obvious fact that domestic animals left to turn feral, become a danger to people via disease and predatory/territorial behaviour.

Sprout offers an easy widget maker, so I’ve made one that is going on all my pages:

If there’s anyone who wants to advertise a rescue Shiba on TMS, you can send me a picture with the following information:

Name
Sex
Age (Puppy, Young Adult, Adult, Senior)
Other Pets?
Kids?
Any other info that you want to give; I’ll try to get it on there!

I can make a button that points to a particular page featuring your rescue dog, as well as one that points to your site. If you would rather just feature your rescue, I’ll be happy to do that as well.

Contact me at redshasta@gmail.com for more info.

I created a couple of pages:

Shiba inus

Canadian Shiba inus

I’m going to add more stuff to them; just playing around with what Squidoo can do!

Once again, I’ve updated the entire site at shibainus.ca I like this better! I’ll be adding more ads to the ad side of the pages, but I like the layout better now.

According to my tests, this layout will show the following:

• 640×480: menu, main article

• 800×600: menu, main article, link buttons to store, blog, and about us page

• 1024×768 and above: menu, main article, link buttons to store, blog, and about us page, and ads – wonderful ads that pay for this website! (ouch, did that hint pinch?)

I want to add:

• thumbnails of the graphics that are offered in the store

• a complete sitemap that includes subpages

• a page for letters and responses

• some kind of widget that rotates pictures and info of rescue shibas needing homes
• also a widget that shows an auto alert for missing shibas

Lots to do…

In other news, Bella is still at large. She was spotted last Sunday, so for all of you dog lovers in the San Jose area, keep your eyes open!

Tierce: Ooo, let’s go out for a walk!

Me: I don’t want to.

Tierce: But it’s sunny outside and there’s things to smell!

Me: Leave me alone.

Tierce: …

Tierce: I bet you want to. Look how bright it is out! And I want to see if the Labrador from down the street stopped by. Did you know that I can smell one part of urine in a million parts of-

Me: LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOU! I HATE LIFE! EVERYTHING FUCKING SUCKS, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!

Tierce: …

Tierce: [poke]

Me: I hate myself. I hate my life.

Tierce: I bet if you walk me, you’ll feel better. Well, I’ll feel better, but isn’t that the same thing?

Me: I’m a loser.

Tierce: LOOK! There he goes! Let’s go out so I can smell what he’s been up to!

Me: *sniff*

Me: I hate you.

Tierce: But you love walks, right?

Me: I hate walking you. I hate everything about it.

Tierce: But I’m really cute, right?

Tierce: [unbelievably cute look with the flattened ears and the wagging tail and the big eyes]

Me: Awww- WAIT, I FEEL MISERABLE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!

Tierce: I’m soooo cuuuutttteeee… and I wannagoforawalk. Walk me!

Me: I’m ugly and fat.

Tierce: Walk me and get thinner!

Me: I’m depressed.

Tierce: A brisk walk will make you happier!

Me: *sob*

Tierce: [poke]

Me: …go awayyy…

Tierce: I will when you walk me.

Me: FINE.

Tierce: Yay!

Me: Shut up!

***

Tierce: And here’s where that Labrador from down the street peed a half-hour ago. Whew; I don’t think they’re feeding her very well. That Lhasa apso mix next door, though, he got steak today. Why don’t I get steak? And there’s some mixed breed that came by. Doesn’t smell like someone local, but-

Me: You know, it’s nice and sunny out. I feel better.

Tierce: -better not come around my yard; I’ll make him regret it. Ooooh, that unspayed cocker spaniel was here… she’s something, for sure-

Me: I should have come out and gone for a walk earlier; maybe I would feel better if I got more sunlight.

Tierce: -oooh, a hamburger wrapper! There’s not much on it, though, more’s the pity. I think I smell that Springer from across the way, but she hasn’t been here recently-

Me: You know, I’m really glad to have you, Tierce. You made me get out and enjoy the day.

Tierce: -that Golden Retriever two houses up. Smells like she doesn’t have much time left. She must be, what. Fifteen? Sixteen? Oooh! A bug!

Me: Tierce?

Tierce: -got to get it, aaah, aaah, GOT YOU! Mmm… crunchy- ew, sour. Pah! Bleh!-

Me: TIERCE!

Tierce: What?

Me: I’m really glad to have you in my life.

Tierce: Of course you are.

Fallout continues over dogs

Helena-West Helena Mayor James Valley is facing possible criminal charges after the Humane Society of Southeastern Arkansas filed charges with the Phillips County Sheriff’s Department Monday after Valley directed city sanitation workers to free 10 dogs at the St. Francis National Forest last Wednesday. Ruby Burton, director of the Humane Society of Southeast Arkansas, swore out an affidavit for arrest against Valley, citing state animal cruelty laws dealing with abandonment, mistreatment and neglect, all Class A misdemeanors. At press time, no information on whether a warrant was issued for his arrest had been received.

Arkansas city releases shelter dogs into national forest

I wish to Dog this was an Onion news article, but it’s not.

“They are better off free,” Mayor James Valley said Thursday. “Pardon the pun, but it was just something that was dogging us. So it would be easier for us until we get a facility and have a plan that we just not be in the animal shelter business.”

Here is a blog entry with a letter from the mayor concerning the incident.

…we are or have released all but a few our those animals heretofore housed at the sanitation shop. We fed and watered them and took them to the St. Francis National Forest and released them to freedom.

Isn’t it ironic that St. Francis of Assisi is the patron saint of animals? Unfortunately the St. Francis National Forest is not the patron park of domestic dogs. Bear, coyote, and alligators are all residents of the park, as well as bats, raccoons and foxes which can carry rabies. Valley has just released ten potential vectors of rabies, not to mention species-specific diseases. Not to mention the fact that Valley states that “[o]ne of our animal control officers has been to the hospital three times in as many months. Twice for bites and once for a severely sprained ankle growing out of incidents with these animals“. What happens when these hungry dogs come across people? Kids coming home from school? Pet animals? Livestock?

Do not just point fingers at the mayor! Gloria Higginbotham, director of the Humane Society of the Delta stated that “the animals were “better off” fending for themselves.”

Well, looky here: Mayor Valley’s Journal where he tells us that he can be reached at City Hall, 98 Plaza Street, (72390); (870)572-3421 Telephone (870)572-5034 Facsimile (870)817-4035 Cellular Phone. His mailing address is P O Box 248, Helena-West Helena, AR (72342).

This looks like his website, but note it has a different mailing address.

Humane Society of the Delta website; phone: (870) 589-3396. The contact page on the website gives some different numbers: (870) 816-5979 and (870) 572-2902

I wonder how long these people would survive if dumped out in buttfuck nowhere with no food, no shelter, no tools, and no knowledge of how to survive.

Me: I need your help to practice showing with Tierce.

Tierce: Ew.

Boyfriend: What am I doing?

Me: You’re going to be the judge.

Boyfriend: Okay, what do I have to do?

Tierce: Let me go!

Me: You come up to Tierce and check his teeth.

Boyfriend: [Checks Tierce's teeth]

Tierce: I hate you now. You remember all the times we lay together on the couch, watching TV? That’s all dead to me.

Me: Okay, now just run your hand down his back and stretch out his tail down his back legs. Good boy, Tierce! Gooood puppy!

Boyfriend: Okay, now what.

Tierce: Giving me more treats would be good.

Me: Now, just check his testicles.

Boyfriend: What?

Tierce: What?

Me: His testicles. Touch them to make sure he has both. That’s what the judges do to make sure the dog has both of them.

Boyfriend: I’m not touching the dog’s balls!

Tierce: Yeah! I mean, no! He’s not touching my balls.

Me: Oh don’t be so silly. All you have to do is-

Tierce: Hey, hands off my personal property!

Me: Good boy! -see?

Boyfriend: No.

Me: It doesn’t mean anything. It’s something that the judges do.

Tierce: I have just decided not to like the judges.

Boyfriend: Well, the judges can do it, then. I’m not touching the dog’s balls.

Me: [angrily] Well then, forget it! It’s not like I’m asking much!

Tierce: Well, if you ask me…

Boyfriend: I just don’t want to do it!

Me: So sorry for casting aspersions on your sexual orientation. I was unaware that training a dog for show involved your man-pride!

Tierce: Yay, she let me go!

Boyfriend: [stony silence]

Me: [stony silence]

Tierce: I’m free! Who wants to play with this Kong? Or these rings? Or this ball?

Boyfriend: …

Me: …

Tierce: Well, um, sorry I asked. Can I go outside?

Me: *sigh* Sure.

Tierce: Yay!

I was in search of new and exciting point-n-click games when I noticed a picture of what looked like a stuffed Shiba.

What do you know? It was. Now, to figure out what they’re saying and whether I can actually order one.